I'm running a half marathon in 2 days.
What? I'm doing a race and I haven't been blogging about it all the time? I know. It's strange. I've even been training for this one in earnest, unlike last time, where I kind of just winged it. (I feel like that should be 'wung' it. I know that isn't a word. It just sounds like it should be.) I started training just after New Years because I was dead set on running a half this year and since it gets crazy warm in southern Arizona (What? I haven't blogged about not running in tights at all? That's also strange.), I figured I should do it sooner rather than later. So, I'm running a half marathon in two days.
And I'm freaking out. I haven't had a good run in what feels like weeks, my heart rate monitor went out and I had to send it in and was without it for my dress rehearsal, my ankle decides to be funny (not hurting so much as the whole "I want you to be aware that I'm here" sort of thing), I haven't been getting enough sleep as I'd like and am apparently walking a lot more than I used to. And then the taper brain went into full swing today. I took off my shoes and heart rate monitor and piled them with the rest of the stuff I need and it really hit me what I'm doing here. As I phrase it in a conversation this morning, "Why did we want to do this again?"
In large part, because I want to be racing again. It's been almost two years (3 days shy), and the longer I wait, the harder it's going to be to get back on the horse. And I've probably felt this way before, but I don't remember. Maybe I need to do this to remember what it's like again. How taper brain is good for making sure that you pack everything you need (and then some), for making you sure rest, for keeping you hydrated when you need to be.
It's also good for making you a little crazy. But only half crazy.